Bad-mouthing myself.

I am nothing much more than a useless piece of shit. My existance increases the amount of rubbish in the world. I make no contribution nor gain a single sand for the family. Troubling everyone to take care of me and to search for me high and low. Delaying everyone's time to effin' wait for me when they needn't even wait. Wasted. They've been wasting too much on me, in which is not at all worthy. Raising me up brings no benefit to my parents and they could have just ditch me away. Just like a parasite, I've corroded everything which were supposed to be beautiful and nice. How nice of me. Shit. I am asking for pamper when i am the one receiving all the pampering. Everyone's coddling were treated as if they were a matter of course. I am just way too rapacious. I never considered others' feeling when i'm complaining that others never cared about my feeling. In Matthew 7:3, it says: "Why do you see the speck in your brother's eye, but fail to see the beam of wood in your own? I've spent too much time on stuffs which is useless and worthless. I am such a.. Such a.. I find no word to describe me. I've always asked others to be thankful and to appreciate what they have around them. And somehow I think I am just a fcuking hypocrite. I blabs a lot about so and so which were NEVER practiced by myself. Isn't it so? I'm worser than the worst. Having a daughter like me surely brings my parents' life bliss and sorrow. Do I still own a chance to turn over a new leaf? Chances were always given, and i've always been trashing them. By now, even I myself couldn't truly understand myself. I do not know what am I thinking, I do not know what do I want, I do not know what do I desire, I do not know what would I do. What I did is tinier than a compound of oxygen comparing to what they have done for me. How evilish could I be the next moment? How fake could I be the next second? Still, it's a fact of unknown. It's a good thing that my handphone's expired. Thus, I wouldn't have a chance to bother anyone else. I have been really inconsiderate, spilling all my bitter-water to someone whose going to have an important exam soon. Be considerate, i've always wished that everyone around me could be considerate and think from my perspective. Yet, I've always disobeyed the rule of considerate when i'm not feeling well, and totally abolished them when I am moody. Sincerely, i thank everyone who were there for me. I've browsed through some memories which were deeply sealed in my heart and realized that a sincere true friend is really kind of impossible to find. But as a useless and worthless daughter, a pathetic and inconsiderate friend, I ought to keep my fcuking mouth shut. There's nothing which could be helped by shedding some tears or even more crying some lungs out. They make no use. Time were left idle or used up on things which bring no benefit to the family. This should first be changed. I'm good. I hope I did not lie.

倚天屠龙记

这是一部儿时所观看的连戏剧。再次观赏，竟让自己无法自拔。

真情

有时我搞不懂，为什么人世间要有这么多的猜忌与误会，这么多的勾心斗角。在一段感情中，单纯的快乐不是最重要的吗？每个人都是独一无二的，每个人的个性也都截然不同。因此，争执与意见不和是难免的。不是吗？为什么有些人就是那么小家子气，不能体谅别人的感受呢？些微的争执，难道就不能得过且过吗？难道不能将心比心，站在别人的立场上想想吗？有时，别人对你的容忍，就是为了避免冲突的发生。为什么非得打破沙锅问到底？为什么非得把一切弄得这么复杂？为什么非得把一切过错都怪到别人身上，要别人替你背黑锅？可以不可以，不要再这么以自我为中心？那可不可以对得到的感情珍惜一点？当别人兴冲冲与你分享一些事情的时候，表征了他的在乎。因为当你是真心的朋友，想把自身的快乐与你分享。你给予的冷漠回应，却让人心灰意冷……

p/s: 武侠片看多了，连说话都“古代化”了。

Feelings.

I've got msn but I'm lazy to chat.

I've got a handphone but I'm lazy to use it.

I've got a blog but I'm lazy to update.

I've got a mouth but I'm lazy to talk.

I don't see no light which can lead me. God.

Pray harder pray harder pray harder.

Because I'm A Girl - Kiss

I've always wanted to look for this song since long long time ago but i was just too lazy to wait for the download to load. Just now, i saw Doggy listening to this song so i asked him to send me. He then asked me to watch the video. So yeah, i watched.

I cried after watching. Touching MV. But, i seriously dislike the ending of the MV ==. If i were the MV director, i would direct something like.. The girl hugged the guy's back. Or.. something like that. Hahas.

Worth watching though. Nice one.

Tagged.

Now, since i'm replying tags, i'll reply all of the tags in once. Sweat.

1.The person who tagged you?
Qing.

2.Your relationship with him/her?
Net friends.

3.Your 5 impressions of him/her?
I've only seen her avatar. ==

4.The most memorable thing he/she had done for you?
We've done together. Gaming until late night.

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you?
Nothing.

6. If he/she become your lover you will?
I don't like girls.

7. If he/she become your lover, things he/she has to improve on?
Uh.

8. If he/she become your enemy, you?
Humans won't become my enemy^^.

9. If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be?
You gotta ask her.

10.The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now?
Link her when i'm free xD.

11.Your overall impression of him/her is?
Humourous and talkative, just like me xD!

12. How you think people around you will feel about you?
Crazy girl.

13. The characters you love of yourself are
I love myself for being myself^^.

14. On the contrary, the characters that you hate about yourself?
Hurts people often, when i didn't even realize.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Lesley Lau Syn Yee.

16. For people who care and love you, say something to them.
Thanks, me too xD!

17. Pass this test to 10 person.
*SPM-ers should not be tagged cause they should be studying^^.*
1. Aaron Ting
2. Alvin Tang
3. Cynthia Voon
4. Desmond Ong
5. Doggy Sim
6. Ellora Chua
7. Hannah Wong
8. Joseph Sim
9. Joshua Wong
10. Tay Kho Ai

18. Who is no. 6?
[Ellora] Lora larhs.

19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
[Joshua] Isn't it obvious?

20. If no. 7 and no.10 got together, is that a good thing?
[Hannah] Lesbians.

21. What is no. 2 studying about?
[Alvin] Ask him. I know he got test law larhs. xD

22. When is the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
[Cynthia] In the progress of texting.

23. What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
[Joseph] Nice ones. He has really good taste of music xD.

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
[Aaron] A brother.

25. Will you woo no. 3?
[Cynthia] Haha she's my darling ehhs. Owhkay i would not.

26. How about no. 7?
[Hannah] Woo!

27. How about no. 9?
[Joshua] My bf^^. xD

28. Is no. 4 single?
[Desmond] Yeapps.

29. What is the surname of no.5?
[Doggy] Sim.

30. What is the hobby of no. 10?
[Tay] Singing and hanging out, i THINK. xD

31. Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
[Doggy and Joshua] Do they even know each other?

32. Where is no. 2 studying at?
[Alvin] Swinburne.

33. Talk something casually about no. 1.
[Aaron] Pervert.

34. Have you tried developing feelings for no. 5?
[Doggy] Owhkayyyy? P&C.

35. How about no. 6?
[Ellora] Sister, forever and always.

36. Where does no. 9 live at?
[Joshua] Australia.

37. What colour does no.4 like?
[Desmond] Guys don't choose, isn't it?

38. Are no. 5 and 1 best friends?
[Doggy and Aaron] I think they are kinda close?

39. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
[Hannah] Yes yes yes yes yes! =p

40. What is no. 6 doing now?
[Ellora] I don't know.

My kind of boy.

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your notes, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag your friends to answer this. Then see what happens.

If you are a guy - post this as my kind of girl.
If you are a girl - post it as my kind of boy.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
Being normal is enough larhs.

2. Smart?
In reading my mind and making me happy^^.

3. Preferred age?
I don't wanna bring xiaodidi out arhs.

4. Preferred height?
Taller than me when i'm in heels jiu owhkay liao.

5. How about sense of humor?
Humorous guys are cute^^.

6. How about piercings?
Guys with piercings are fcuking gay duh.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
If not i find a person who would sponsor me for plastic surgery jiu enough liao marhs. ==

8. Pink hair?
I'm obsessed with pink, but NOT pink bulu.

9. Mushy or no?
As in soft or not hia? Don't exceed the limit. Soft is luxurious to lay on larhs. =)

10. Thin or fat?
Moderate.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
As long as he's darker than me. And, not too fair cause white guys looks like akua.

12. Long hair or short hair?
Neat and tidy. Definitely not long hair.

13. Plastic or metal?
Don't try plastic surgery.

14. Smells good?
Enen^^. *blushs*

15. Smoker?
NO!

16. Drinker?
Drink ONLY to cope with functions. And, must be able to drink for me cause i get drunk easily =p.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Cute^^. *blushs*

18. Muscular?
Not necessary but acceptable. If not you want the body all fats tiada a bit muscle merhs?

19. Plays piano?
That's gonna be romantic^^.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
That's gonne be cool^^.

21. Plays violin?
Kinda niang lerhs? Mai larhs.

22. Sings very good?
His family business but the voice of a guy is a good way to seduce a girl though. *blushs*

23. Vain?
Vain for what he have but shows the inner-humble of him.

24. With glasses?
Frame glasses are acceptable.

25. With braces?
Better not.

26. Shy type?
Shy when i would like to see shy reactions^^. *blushs*

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Only rebelious when he's right. This shows the inner-man OMG.

28. Active or passive?
Active when i'm passive, passive when i'm active. =D

29. Tight or bomb?
Meaning?

30. Singer or dancer?
I would choose a singer over a dancer.

31. Stunner?
Meaning?

32. Hiphop?
Can arhs. As long as they don't act street-y.

33. Earrings?
!@#$% HELL NO!

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
Useless boy.

35. Dimples?
Not necessary.

36. Bookworm?
Not academical ones larhs. I could be really indulged in books too =p.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
Ngaiti don't make Digi bankrupt larhs.

38. Playful?
Of course.

39. Flirt?
Flirt with me only^^.

40. Poem writer?
Cool xP.

41. Serious?
Depends to the condition.

42. Campus crush?
Meaning?

43. Painter?
I'm owhkay with this talent.

44. Religious?
If possible, i want a Crazy lover of Christ.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
Teasing for the purpose of fooling around and having some fun, why not.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
Lesley freak^^. *NO DOTA NO DOTA NO DOTA!

47. Speaks 20 languages?
Then can flirt 20 type of different girls? MAI. Speak Lesley language jiu can liao.

48. Loyal or faithful?
Maku ask what bird question larhs!

49. Good kisser?
Never tried. Sweat.

50. Loves children?
If not?

I tag:
Anybody who wanna do.

leave-me-alone mode.

don't expect updates from me recently cause i'm currently trapped in emoness and depressions.

shit. insonmia again, puffy eyes again, kimak kimak kimak.